What I am looking for is....

I have been to various card stores looking for a card for mother's day. This task is difficult. I can not find a card.

Most cards make me want to puke. Do people seriously send this mushy crap to their mom? There should be a camera on me when I read these cards. I visibly freak out when I read them and then shove them back in their display case in complete disdain.

I am looking for a card that says something like:

Clearly you have done a fine job rearing me. You have taken part in giving me good looks...Look at me for Christ sake...I am fantastic looking. But you drive me nuts. Absolutely NUTS! But I love you. Happy Mother's Day.

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