You have 2 days.
Two days before I freak the fuck out on you.
Actually - what the hell am I talking about? Summer arrived today. I am becoming one of 'them'. The 'them' I swore I would not become.
It was shitastic out today. Pleasant through the afternoon and then it turned into a humid hell. All beginning of summer crappiness.
I was sweating as I walked about Ravenswood Manor...admiring houses I'd like to live in with my imaginary children and well paid imaginary husband.
Whatever - this is what I have to say to everyone is Chicago:
#1: Please make reference to my previous blog about spring
#2: It is a no win situation with you spoiled freaks. Yes - I am here to offend. And I was acting like one of 'you' two seconds ago. I admit it.
This is the thing: All any Chicagoan does is bitch bitch bitch bitch about the weather going from cold to directly to hot.
Congratulations - we ACTUALLY had a good two months of tolerable temperatures. Spring like...wouldn't you say?
Lots of rain? Yes.
April showers bring May flowers and what do May flowers bring? PILGRIMS!!!
I love that.
BUT - still it has been pretty easy on the temperature.
And what is everyone doing? RUSHING the SEASONS. Bitch bitch bitch - everyone wants summer.
You people can not be satisfied.
Had we jumped to 83 degrees on May 15th - bitching.
We stay in the 60s - 70s in May - bitching.
So here we are on June 18 doing the spring-summer transition. That humid horsecrap thing. It is coming a bit later than normal. Is it that big of a deal?
As my friend Megan said:
Talk to me in October...when it is 85 degrees.
Does anyone recall Halloween last year?
Let summer start in late June as it is supposed to. Because if that season lasts through October 31 - like it did last year: That is FOUR months of summer and that is plenty.
You will be so sick of summer and you are going to want a nice stew and a pumpkin spice latte. And and it will be too hot for it and what will you do? BITCH about it.
PLEASE - for the love - STOP COMPLAINING. and I will too!