Yet another foolish move...

I am one of those people that you hear about on the news and think "What an idiot"

I am...I admit it. I will loose my hand in a lawn mover or a snow blower one day. It is because I have no patience and when something goes wrong I need it fixed THAT SECOND. And lord knows..I think I know how to fix everything.

When my check engine light goes on, I open up the hood and look at the engine. As though I have any clue what I am looking at. This is who I am.

So if I am ever out blowing snow and it gets stuck I will look in it and dive my hand in to dislodge only to pull out my bloody stump.

However - it should be noted that I have fixed many a toilet and broken sink and have installed a ceiling fan all by myself.

I also hold the world's record for fastest and least messy tire change. I was wearing a white dress and got a flat tire and changed that thing in about 5 minutes and had nothing but a bit of grime on my palms. Which reminds me that I have a flat spare in my trunk. I will be standing on the side of the road shaking my fist in the air at my idiocy one day.

However - I know I am crazy - this is why I have a weird fear of blenders and garbage disposals. I check like I have OCD twelve times that these things are off before sticking my precious digits near a movable blade. the heat of things not going my way or like I think they should go...I tend to not do any sort of thinking.

Back to today:

I have an espresso/cappuccino maker. If you recall this is one of the things that have positively changed my life, like my bangs.

This morning I switched the dial to the frothing feature and no steam was coming out of the machine.

Hmmmm.....what is wrong with this damn thing?
I switch the dial back and forth.
Well...I will just go ahead and unscrew the top of this machine off. You know...that part that says something about "warning: contents under pressure...blah blah something about avoiding injury"

For some reason I don't take warnings seriously. Don't mix prescription pain killers with alcohol? What? Tomfoolery.

Unscrewing...can't unscrew. Very hard to unscrew. This is the sign to STOP TRYING TO UNSCREW...BUT NONONONONONO.

I will not have this piece of junk run my life. This thing is not calling the shots. I WILL get my frothed milk.

I WILL unscrew it off. I WILL get to the bottom of the injustice this has served me.

Suddenly about an eighth of the lid pops open and steam is flowing out of it fast and furiously and it is making an whistling noise.

CRAP. It is going to explode. I check that it is off, I unplug it - that is going to do me any good.

So then I am standing right next to it and staring at in a panic. How do I make this stop? how? HOW?

When I decided there was nothing I could do and realized it might explode I decided to seek shelter behind my kitchen wall, waiting for the impending explosion. When the whistling stopped I returned to it and went about my business.

It is interesting that apparently I am willing to loose an eye for frothed milk.

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