You’ve been wondering where I have been. Haven’t you?
Well – I’ll tell you.
I was robbed. Yes…robbed.
Someone welcomed himself into my apartment and helped themselves to such things as my computer, my camera and all my finest jewels.
A tragedy? Yes.
Am I over it? Yes.
Better than having a leg chopped off. That is what I always say.
Well – actually, I always say “Better than having one really short leg”
This is my philosophy in life.
It is “Mere’s One Really Short Leg Outlook on Life”.
Feel free to incorporate this into your own life.
When things seem shitty – I say to myself:
Well, this would be a lot worse if I had one really short leg.
Just one. One regular leg and then perhaps my other leg was so short it ended at my knee. A sort of flipper leg – but a bit longer.
This is how I don’t get trapped in a cycle of self-pity and depression. Everything is worse with one really short leg.
Wa wa wa…I was robbed. Lot worse to be robbed and have one really short leg. Wa wa wa wa, I have nothing to wear today. Well – whole lot worse to have nothing to wear and one really short leg. Wa wa wa…I am fat. Worse to be fat with one really short leg. Wa wa wa…I didn’t win the lottery. Would suck to not win the lottery and have a really short leg.
Wa wa wa….I am single and thirty. No one wants to marry me. Then I say – well, this would be a lot worse if I were single, thirty AND had one really short leg.
But then I think. NO. NO, to this one. I would probably be involved in some kind of one really short leg subculture and go to Really Short Leg Conventions and meet a fine young man there that also has one really short leg. The pool is smaller so it would be easier to find a mate. This is where midgets have it made. They just go to midget meetings and find a fellow midget. You look around; you see what is out there. These are your choices and that is that.
Full sized and full-legged people have the whole world to search through. An entire ocean of freaks to sift through. Midgets have a small pond. Seems easier to me.
Don’t worry – I am still happy I don’t have one really short leg.