Update on RPDSS

So.....my cheap bastard self purchased some new deodorant about 2 weeks ago.

I was under this impression that a miracle had occurred.

You can part as many seas as you want and cure as many cases of leprosy as you see fit - but let's talk REAL MIRACLES...that being getting this right pit to not smell like that of a squirrel carcass. Or for my regional friends...it smells like the alley just north of Madison between Wells and LaSalle - which has the distinct odor of rotting body of prostitute.

I am not kidding, please visit this alley if you ever have the need to rid yourself of the contents of your stomach and can't bring yourself to vomit. The odor of this alley induces gagging. I bury my nose in my right pit (OF ALL PLACES!) to avoid the stench. Then I want to cleanse myself 'Silkwood' style.

There hadn't been a sign of Right Pit Dead Squirrel Syndrome since the implement of the new product.

But today...it struck again.

What the mother loving heck is going on?

I think I have a plan to combat the RPDSS and keep up with my cheap bastard lifestyle....

I will buy 3 different deodorants and switch them each week.

I am not sure why I did not come up with this before...it seems so obvious.

Fool..I am one at times.

If this doesn't work I am totally going to blame this on Obama winning the election. I mean really...is it just coincidence that my pit acted up the first full day he is President Elect? I think not my friends....I think not.

I had The Hope for my pit...Hope don't cure RPDSS. Nope...it sure don't.


Anonymous said...

I think my Indian teammate has the same syndrome but both armpits. I want to gag everyday.

Mere said...

LIZ!!! I know that is you! The weirdest part is how I am in wonder over the odor and instead of just putting on more deodorant...I just continue to smell it and be disgusted...like a dog smelling it's stinky feet. I am an animal.