I have nothing funny to say. This happens. I should be working - but I prefer to procrastinate like only a winning procrastinator can.
These are currently 3 favorite things:
1. Adam Carolla
The man is the finest man in all the land. I started listening to his morning radio show under the direction of my good friend, Katie. Shout out to Katie. Everything he says, I completely agree with. In fact, I am not convinced that man has not stolen some of my material. Some intriguing topics include: Men are no longer real men, people that freak about germs are always sick, a woman must be tall to be sexy (and have boobs), shit happens and you can't stop it...I love him.
2. The Cubs
I'm on the bandwagon and I am not afraid to admit it. I also enjoy the Sox but I have a special place in my heart for the Cubs...those Lovable Losers...I too am a Lovable Loser. I feel connected to them. They give me hope. If the Cubs can take it to the World Series, then I too can accomplish things. I would be even more thrilled if the Sox could also go the World Series. A Red Line Series would be killer...literally...I will probably not leave my home if that happens.
I dig the song 'Electric Feel"...it kinda makes me want to do this little shoulder and head dance while I prepare taxes at my desk....in fact, I do.
Hate is a strong word...these are three things I don't care for:
1. My right arm pit
It is possible Paris has my same issue and she is checking. For years I have been suffering from RPS. Right Pit Syndrome...this is a condition in which your right pit out sweats the left. Well...it has developed into RPDSS...Right Pit Dead Squirrel Syndrome. What is this? My right pit smells like what only can be described as a dead squirrel. Although it is true I have never smelled a dead squirrel, it is what I imagine one to smell like. The sweating has ceased and I have nothing but a unpleasant odor. This is the part where everyone suggests numerous deodorants. Well...I also have CBS. Cheap Bastard Syndrome. God forbid I buy new deodorant before I am out. Besides...this syndrome has lasted through 2 deodorants. Even my Lush powder is failing me....
2. Sarah Palin
Besides the fact that she a freak, she is a terrible mother. Women that have small children and choose a job that requires more than 40 hours per week when it is not needed should not have children. It is pretty simple. It is not sexist, it is nature. Ummm...it is also neglect. Women that think she is some kind of hero should seek help. Oh wait...no, no they don't need to. Their children will be seeking the help at age five and for the rest of their lives. Remember my friends...a cluster of cells in the womb is worth so very much that we need to make abortion illegal...BUT...once that baby is in the world and breathing...no need to nurture it. Send it off so mommy can seek a high ranking job and make lots of money!!!!!!!
3. My job
It is not that I hate my job. I like it. It is entertaining and I work with awesome people. But...at certain times of the year...I want to jump out the window to stop all the numbers from running through my head. I simply was not meant to work.