Ketchup in the Entry

The neighbor across from me is an odd bird.

Incident #1: I could hear him yelling at his live-in girlfriend with whom he had a child. She would be crying, he would be - maybe not yelling - but using an overly stern voice. And he would be using annoying lawyer words when he spoke to her. I too would be in tears if someone I created life with used lawyer jargon in an attempt to argue me out of crying.

Incident #2: Girlfriend moves out and he calls the police to monitor the move out. Girl takes something he doesn't want her to have and he again is using his strange lawyer speak: something about having something on their 'fictional person'...what???

Incident #3: Ongoing: He uses the landing between our front doors to store an enormous Rubbermaid container...which means he must do a side step to open his door. Who lives like that? He also uses this as a dumping ground for various items: FedEx boxes, water bottles and the most annoying: his empty Muscle Milk sat there for a month before he picked it up. Recently I found a CTA card - it had $4 on it. I am glad I took it...even though I don't really need it.

Incident #4: I come home tonight and there are 2 Costco sized containers of Heinz 57 in the entry way. With a note: "Free and Unopened - Dave 3M"

WHAT IS GOING ON? It is very odd to leave ketchup in the entry way. Very strange. It is strange. I live next door to a maniac. If I turn up dead - please have him questioned. Although he was avoiding the summons for weeks that was left in the entryway so he probably won't answer any questions without a fictional person present or some horsecrap.

yes...I read the summons. Just part of it. Sue me.


Crystal said...

Mere, the sad truth of the matter is... you've got Trash People for neighbors. Or, one neighbor now, I should say.

Lisa said...

So...did you take the ketchup? Be honest now.

Muffin Cake said...

I am amused every time I read this blog post. Yes, all 47 I return to your blog awaiting more humorous stories and find nothing but this same post.

Hop to, woman!!! Update your fucking blog!