The Walk Signal

I have no car so - my bike and my legs are my only source of transportation.

I enjoy my smartphone as most do.  This afternoon a man was angry that I dared to cross the road while looking at my phone. 

I have had this happen before.  Years ago a truck driver was beeping at me because I was talking on my phone when I crossed the road.  I was on the phone with some friend when this happened and I got all crazy....I stopped in the middle of the road and was screaming at the guy. "wha? wha? What is your problem?"  This was probably circa summer of 2010 - 2011 - I had a lot of anger then.  Then some -perhaps out of homing man said "I think he is mad that you are on your phone".  "I have a walk signal! I can walk and talk on my phone!" I yelled.  "no...no - you can.  I was just telling you what I think his problem was" he said...fearing me.

You know you have issues to deal with when you are standing in the middle of the road challenging a semi to run you over and a homeless man is trying to diffuse the situation.

Now - I am not saying I am without fault with my phone use.  I was trying to text and ride my bike once and nearly ran into a lamppost.  These things happen.  BUT - I can look at my phone and walk.  I look up every few seconds.  I am fine doing it.  I am WALKING - I am not going to hurt others.

SO - I can walk...on the WALK signal across the street while looking at my phone and WHO are YOU- person trying to make a right on a red to say I can't?

Blind people can cross the road on a walk on a walk signal.   So guess what?  I can too! I can look at my dandy phone and never look up and do it.  I can be fucking blindfolded while taking pictures of your irate honking ass and crawl across the street!  Sorry I am impeding your right on red - but do you see that lit up man in the international sign for walking?  That is for me!  I GET TO WALK before you get to turn. 

I can do what ever the fuck I want in this crosswalk while that illumitaed man is up saying I can go and YOU right-on-red must wait.

Maybe I'm going to juggle.  I am going to juggle as I cross the road.  Is that going to piss you off? 

Maybe I will get a catfish and a sharp knife and fillet that fucker as I cross the road.  Is that cool?  I am going to fillet a fucking fish as I walk across the street.  It is my god damn American right to do so.

I am going to create and then eat the most amazing ice cream sundae EVER as I walk across the road (time permitting).

Next time I cross the road I will get a peacock, put it in a bird-hold (whatever that is) and de-feather it as I cross the road. 

I am going to bring my laundry and pre-treat any stains with SHOUT.  I am going to SHOUT it OUT in the crosswalk.  You like that better than me looking at my phone?

You into origami?  I am going to stop in the lane closest to your turning and make about 10 origami cranes of various colors

.

Is all that shit cool?  Great then....me looking at my phone shouldn't be a big deal.