Meredyth Answers Ask Amy....

I decided that since I have nothing of importance going on in my life I would answer 'Ask Amy' questions. This is some type advice column featured in the Chicago Tribune.

Dear Amy: Once a year I host a family reunion for my five children, spouses and grandchildren.

I pay for all, including travel.

One of my daughters remarried last year and her spouse has a teenage daughter who is not a member of their household (except for every other weekend).

They have indicated that they would like to bring the daughter to the family reunion.

I have no problem with her coming, but my question is — should I be expected to pay for the expenses of her coming?

This is a cross-country trip, adding a total cost of about $1,500.

They have not offered to pay for her, and I wonder what you think about this?

— Generous Dad

Dear Generous Dad:

You are a fucking asshole for even asking this question.

This girl is now part of your family. Deal with it. Sadly, this girl has probably had a bit rougher of a life than your other grandchildren. Why on earth would you make her feel like more of a burden?

When my grandfather died the number of great grandchildren listed in his obituary included a great grandchild by marriage. That is how it works.

I assume you are of Greek descent? That's right, I am generalizing. I like to sharpen my generalizing skills. Let me know if you aren't Greek, I have 2 other guesses after that.

-Meredyth

Dear Amy: As a parent of three young children, I try to teach them manners in public, such as taking only one treat or toy when offered, not destroying the displays at checkout counters and not running in stores.

At the same time I am busy insisting that my kids behave well, when they misbehave the store employees (and even other customers) frequently will smile at my kids and say directly to them, "That's OK,", "No problem — he's young,", "It's OK; I'll clean this up."

This makes me crazy!

Real accidents sometimes do happen, but most of this behavior is not OK!

This response ultimately confuses my child about what is acceptable and what is not, which makes my job as a parent harder.

Sometimes other parents undermine me in this way too.

I am not an overly strict controlling mean or nasty parent!

I just believe that basic behavior rules are learned more easily when kids are young.

The oldest child is already considered one of the better behaved kids in her class.

What can I say or do when this happens without making a big fuss?

I know they all mean well. I would appreciate it if you would alert other about this.

— Frustrated Mom

Dear Frustrated Mom:

Are you serious? You want other people to disciple your children? That is not their job. Members of society generally don't want to make a huge scene where it is unnecessary. These store clerks and parents are simply being polite.

Would you rather we lived in some kind of insane barbaric society in which we screamed at each other when others were not acting the way we wanted? Ironically...that would be a society filled with people acting like children.

-Meredyth

Dear Amy: I am concerned about my mother. About one year ago she lost her job.

Since then she has become more and more introverted. She sleeps quite a bit during the day and very little at night.

She makes excuses not to leave her house. She doesn't see her family or friends. She is overweight and has a few health issues but nothing that would stop her from leaving home.

When she was approached by a family friend about applying for a job that she is qualified to do, she made excuses that simply weren't logical.

We are very concerned but are out of ideas about how to help her.

What can we do?

— Freaked Out Family

Dear Freaked Out Family:

If I had children....I'd assume this was written about me.

Do you really need to seek advice on this? The woman is DEPRESSED. Which is very typical when you lose your job. Do you really have no idea that this is textbook depression? You could have contacted a local high school student taking psychology to diagnose this. She needs to see a therapist and perhaps get on some Prozac. You know the lady...everyone is different...figure out how to urge this and stop wasting precious time writing advice columns.

God Bless your mother.

-Meredyth