Question on Social Acceptability...

Is it acceptable for an adult to eat a piece of chocolate shaped like an animal in public?

Sometimes...I am not sure.

On my flight from Phoenix to Chicago I decided to have my way with a chocolate shaped reindeer my mother gave me. Granted...a small reindeer. It wasn't like it was a 9 inch tall reindeer that I pulled out of my carry-on. He was about 4 inches tall.

I felt foolish in the close quarters an airplane is. But I did not let my modesty get the best of my need to eat chocolate. I took a bite out of his rear end so I could then break off pieces and eat him like a civilized adult. But I still felt silly fumbling around with this reindeer chocolate at age 31.

I realize I should be eating something more adult like a chocolate bar or truffle...but that was not available and desperate times call for desperate measures and if that plane went down in a freak accident my soul would be angry that I did not eat that darn reindeer.

This was a hollow reindeer.

I have an issue with hollow chocolate figures and always have my entire life. I feel ripped off. "ummm...I thought this ENTIRE thing was chocolate...not just the outer shell...WTF?"

Growing up I had these German neighbors. One year their grandmother, from Germany, sent over the mother load of Easter candy delights. I was insanely jealous. As you may know, candy is gold to a child. Watching your neighbors gather gold around their yard is painful when their Easter gold-load is 95 times the size of yours. Plus they had fantastic European delightful chocolate not found in the US. GIVE IT TO ME NOW.

It is especially painful when you are me and your favorite chocolate holiday is Easter. Cadbury Eggs. I know - some don't fancy them. I am a lover. The happiest day of the year for me is the day after Easter when I buy them at a heavy discount. I travel feverishly from store to store to buy them and store them in my freezer like a crazed fall time squirrel and his nuts. It is not normal...this behavior. I admit it.

This German Easter brought one item that made me go green more than anything. An enormous three foot foil wrapped chocolate bunny. Those bitches!

It was kept in the downstairs area that served as some type of play room. It was like a bunny shaped chocolate trough. It would watch me play. Beckoning me to take a bite. Sometimes mocking me with its shiny eyes. A bite never taken.

I wondered when these girls would ever open the darn bunny. It seemed to me the chocolate would be escpecially tasty because it came from a three foot bunny.

Then one day...the foil was folded back on his ears, bites taken to expose the truth.

That bunny was hollow. Hollow like their Grandmother's love.

I was no longer impressed.