Sally

This morning I was nearly killed by a deadly squirrel.

I fetched my bike from the bike/laundry room and was about 3 feet from the door when I noticed a squirrel was perched up on the door knob.

Wa. Help me.

I was in this hallway with my bike. I had no idea what to do. I froze. Then whimpered...sending the squirrel into a desperate frenzy.

It freaked out and I screamed like a gad damn sally when it ran towards me. I was holding the bike and he ran between the bike and I and then up and across the back tire and took a leap off my bike to a clear area. Nimble creature. I quickly evacuated.

I like the term sally. I find it to be offensive and demeaning to woman and that is why it is funny.