I was just listening to the news and I learned the following:
A DEADLY ICE STORM is headed to Chicago.
As my friend, Megan, says: Meteorologists are alarmists. So, I have no fear.
What I fear is...The Beet Juice.
Apparently, they will utilizing not only salt but also beet juice to fight the ice on the roads.
WHAT?
Beet Juice?
Yes, beet juice, not to be confused with Beetlejuice, the popular 1988 film staring Michael Keaton. Which, quite frankly, I thought was a stupid movie and I hold strong on that opinion. I strongly dislike it or any other film involving shrunken heads. That is actually all I remember from the movie.
So now the streets will be beet red? Like the streets are running with blood. It will be Biblical. I can't wait until an area Catholic finds Mary in the smearings of beet juice somewhere. A shrine will be built. I look forward to it.
Anyway - I hope they don't go down Webster Avenue with some ice/beet juice truck. That will NOT look cool on my white car. I actually don't care if my car has a beet juice splatterings. The problem is I only get the car cleaned twice per year so that beet juice will be there until March or April and which point...I am not sure it will be removable.
However...if I am getting beet juiced and if Mary chooses to reveal herself...I can only hope it will be on my driver's side passenger door. I would enjoy coming out to my car to find flowers, candles burning, and of course - don't forget the money my sweet Catholic friends.
No comments:
Post a Comment