The Wisdoms and the Gap Stay

I went to the dentist today.

I have not been there in over a year because last time he mentioned something about a cavity and I fled.

First...I had to drive to work so I could leave at noon instead of like 11AM. I have nothing to do at work so this was dumb - but really it is all about me being lazy. It cost me $28 to park at work. Dental health and laziness make for an expensive cocktail.

I should also make it clear that although I live in the city, I go to my childhood dentist in Lombard. I travel the distance because he is the only dentist I trust.

I will now refer to him simply as "Dentist"

Dentist understands that under no circumstance will I have my wisdom teeth removed. I will let them rot back there if need be. I am not interested in dry sockets or nerve damage. Although I am interested in a prescription to pain killers. But, more than that - I like my wisdom teeth. They are my favorite teeth. Well, second favorite. My favorite teeth are my front ones.

It turns out my wisdoms have cavities and the gum around my wisdoms are not the healthiest in all the land. So Dentist asks me if I want to get rid of them. I say "NO! I like them"

I wheel and deal with Dentist. I agree to have the cavities filled and he can replace two silver fillings that I have been housing in my molars since the mid to late 80's....as long as the wisdom teeth stay.

Then I tell him that I fear the space between my front two teeth will grow if the wisdoms are removed. I feel like they are the anchors in this classy mouth. And my gap is the PERFECT size. I don't want to mess with it.

So he starts inspecting my mouth and tells me he is trying to figure out how to take care of the gap, as in...to close it up.

GASP!

I bite his fingers right out of my mouth. (not really)

"no! I like the gap. I am keeping the gap"

He made a face. "Okay" he said "Usually people want that closed up"

"Not me" I say "I wouldn't be me, without my gap...I'd look weird"

Dentist probably thinks I am a maniac....my obsession with my wisdoms and my gap.

But it is who I am, wise and gappy.